Much of Holland is below sea level, which means that you can have mountains that are below the ground as far as everyone else is concerned. If you were in, say Germany, and you could burrow down five hundred feet, and then tunnel to Holland, you might come out hundreds of feet above the ground, and fall to your death. Also in Holland it's illegal to throw cheese at people, the restaurants have 'smouldering' sections, and in winter the local councils spread breakfast cereal on the roads. Also, in Holland boys are taken out into the wilds when they are three years old, and are raised by these sort of two-headed gazelle things, and they bring them back when they reach puberty, with secret knowledge about the ways of the two-headed gazelle things. The national sport in Holland is smashing old furniture, and people call their houses 'Rupert'. Office blocks are called 'Big Rupert', and anything bigger than that is called Daphne.
