Thing

This was written the other day in response to a flamewar on alt.support.tinnitus. Naturally it has nothing to do with the flamewar, at least as far as I can tell. I got this far with it, then got bored and stopped.

Lizards are German, they live in Berlin
The west ones are fat and the east ones are thin
Ok, this is actually no longer so:
the fat ones are fast and the thin ones are slow

The Dutch ones aren't lizards, and don't really count
Except up to twenty or some sum thereabouts
They count on their fingers, they count on their friends
And under the bonnets of Mecedes Benz

The reindeer of Lappland aren't reptiles at all
They fall down the stairs, and collapse in the hall,
on account of their singular fondness for ale,
which they normally drink from a large wooden pail

A Latvian man surreptitiously took
all the marmite and cheese from the rats of Tobruk
Philosophically one of them ventured to say
"That's a whole lot of salt that he's taken away"

Sep 2000, Tim Gadd